ZOMG, Candy!

SweeTarts are one of my favorite candies, and Nestle/Wonka has added to the SweeTarts line (BUY) with Chewy SweeTarts (giant and mini), Sour SweeTarts, Giant Color Changing SweeTarts, SweeTarts Gummy Bugs, SweeTarts Rope, and finally, SweeTarts Squeez in Green Apple and Wild Cherry. Phew! Way to brand ‘em, Mr. Wonka.

I’d seen the SweeTarts Squeez near the cash registers in grocery stores before, but I’d never dared to purchase them. When my friend Cassie saw them offered as prizes at Dave & Buster’s, she “bought” a tube out of curiosity and was generous enough to give it to me after she had a taste. And by generous, I mean she realized that SweeTarts Squeez gel is like delicious sugared crack and threw me to the addiction sharks in order to save herself.

As far as candy goes, this stuff is neither complex nor refined. It’s just pure sugar in gel form with a sweet, tangy, and tart green apple aftertaste that, surprisingly enough, tastes just like a green SweeTart. The gel is fairly fluid (slightly runnier than toothpaste) and is chock full of sugar grains.

This stuff is addictively good. I’ve been eating it slowly by squeezing tiny dabs onto my fingertip instead of just squeezing it straight onto my tongue. It’s good enough to buy again, but too dangerous to buy often.