Posts filed under ‘O’

Choxie Key Lime Pie Truffle Bar

Choxie is Target’s house brand of chocolate. While Target purports to sell stylish clothes for less, Choxie promises fancy chocolate for cheap. The back of the box sums up their philosophy nicely: “crafted with the finest and purest ingredients, it’s intended for the most sophisticated of chocolate palates. we suggest you keep it hidden from mere amateurs.” Sorry, Choxie, but you can’t fool me with your fake trendiness and refusal to use capital letters. But I do like the bright and vaguely retro packaging. Great color scheme!

The key lime pie truffle bar is “key lime-flavored white chocolate and graham biscotti bits enrobed in dark chocolate.” What I got was a way too sweet bar with a strong limey finish. I swear I tasted grains of sugar in the filling along with the scattered chunks of graham cracker.

The graham “biscotti” (I guess that’s fancier-sounding than graham cracker) bits were just crumbs. I think the bar could have benefited from slightly larger bits of the graham to make the texture more interesting and to balance out the sweet white chocolate.

The filling was too sugary, and the dark chocolate enrobing was too bland or too weak to balance it out. My bar had bloomed, which was unfortunate, and it gave the chocolate a greasy feel and an unappetizing look (though bloomed chocolate is perfectly safe to eat). The dark chocolate didn’t have a great melt – it was nowhere near as smooth or as creamy as the Dagoba and Theo bars – and the snap was rather weak and brittle.

Some of my friends liked the flavor combination (many of them thought it was lemon) but found fault with the texture. Others were not fans of the citrus addition and thought it was too weird. It did fairly well in the taste ratings: 9th place out of 13 with a score 3.17/5, placing it higher than many fancier, more expensive bars. From me, an O. I may have been too hard on Choxie because I was tasting it alongside other, nicer bars, so I haven’t completely written off the brand yet. I’d like to try some of their other truffle bars and see if they can redeem themselves.


January 18, 2008 at 8:00 am Leave a comment

Candy Backlog #3: Gummy Googly Eyes

Back in October, my residential college had a fall festival. One of the events was Fear Factor, where contestant had to eat Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans, a chili lollipop, snot on a stick (really fat pretzel sticks dipped in white chocolate dyed a nauseating shade of green), and gummy body parts, including teeth, tongues, and these, Googly Eyes. The Googly Eye I stole was cherry flavored.

The people on the packaging have some freaky looking eyes. I can see little kids grabbing two of these, sticking them on their faces, and scaring their little brothers and sisters. The packaging also reveals that these are made by the Foreign Candy Company! I have a special fondness for them, as they made the French Bon Bons I used to sell for French Club and National French Honor Society back in high school and middle school. And by sell, I mean I ended up eating half my bag myself and had to buy them myself because they were so deliciously addictive. I miss Bon Bons…

Sadly, the Gummy Googly Eyes were neither delicious nor addictive. In fact, I couldn’t even finish the one I had. The gummy was very soft, which could have been nice, except that it was also rather foamy and spongy. It also tasted bad: lightly, generically sweet, with no cherry that I could taste. The unflavorful taste combined with the terrible mouthfeel of the texture earned this an O.

January 14, 2008 at 8:00 am Leave a comment

Candy Backlog #2: Gummy Jingle Buddies

I got these adorable Gummy Jingle Buddies from a dining hall at school that had them out for holiday cupcake decorating. They’re billed as “fruit flavored finger puppets” and come in at least four shapes (from what I can tell): penguin, snowman, Rudolph, and Santa. I managed to grab the latter two.

I can’t get over how cute these are! I love the attention to detail, from the stripes on Rudolph’s scarf to Santa’s eyebrows and tongue (though Santa’s eyes are a bit wonky, giving him a rather crazed expression when combined with the stuck out tongue).The delicate details make me wonder if some of the decorating may have been done by hand. The decorative accents are made of sugar and taste like those hard cake decorations you can buy.

The gummy of the Jingle Buddies is super stiff, almost like a hard rubber in texture. You can sort of see the shadow on the bottom of Rudolph where the hole for your finger goes. They do, in fact, make adequate finger puppets because the gummy is so stiff, but that also means that the Jingle Buddies have an unpleasant chew when you eat them. Flavorwise, they’re nice and lightly fruity, but eating them is like chewing on rubber. I’d buy them for decorating holiday treats and gingerbread houses, but they don’t make for great snacking. An O.

January 11, 2008 at 8:00 am Leave a comment

Nestle Coffee Crisp

I thought I’d stumbled across a great candy find when I found this among other international bars at Coco Moka in Houston’s airport. Then I started seeing it everywhere and realized that it wasn’t so special after all. Apparently there was a successful petition to bring them to the US, though I can’t imagine why. I know there are plenty of better tasting UK candy bars out there.

The wrapper describes the Coffee Crisp as “wafers with coffee creme center”. Upon unwrapping the bar, I was inundated by a strong smell of chocolate, bitter coffee, and wafer. The bar itself is humongous. It’s big, thick, and dense.

For all its strong coffee smell, I couldn’t taste any coffee. I pretty much tasted just wafers and poor quality chocolate. There was also a faint lingering bitterness that was very slight. If you’re going to call your bar a Coffee Crisp, shouldn’t it taste like coffee? Instead, this is pretty much all crisp, and greasy, yicky crisp at that. An O.

Cybele and Sera basically agreed with me. I know they didn’t sign that petition.

January 9, 2008 at 8:00 am 2 comments

Candy Backlog #1: Russell Stover Halloween chocolates

I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions (why wait until January 1st to change your life for the better?), but I’ll still take advantage of 2008 to clear out some old candy reviews to make room for all my new ones. These guys are from Halloween (oops), but I think the reviews will still be useful, as Russell Stover will just remold and repackage these for Christmas (trees, nutcrackers), Valentines (hearts), and Easter (eggs).

Orange Marshmallow Pumpkin

When they say orange, they mean orange. The innards are unnaturally brightly orange, almost highlighter-like in its fluorescence. The marshmallow is nice, fluffy, and foamy, the way I think marshmallow in chocolate should be, but it has a weirdly artificial, almost medicinal taste. An O.

Strawberry Cream Pumpkin

Unlike the orange marshmallow and the caramel & marshmallow pumpkins, the outside of this pumpkin was completely smooth instead of being textured. Perhaps it needs the thicker chocolate shell because it contains cream instead of marshmallow. Unfortunate, the milk chocolate shell was too sweet, and Russell Stover chocolate isn’t that great. With such a thick layer of chocolate coating, you can really taste its inferiority.

As you can see, the strawberry cream looks just like marshmallow. It’s light and fluffy but not foamy. Therein lies the dividing line between marshmallow and cream, I guess. Flavorwise, the strawberry was light and unremarkable. Another O.

Peanut Butter Ghost

Again, I’d like to point out how the color orange has come to be associated with peanut butter thanks to Reese’s marketing. The Russell Stover packaging is cute enough, even if I think the chocolate inside looks more like a nun than a ghost.

Usually I don’t like it when peanut butter overwhelms the chocolate it’s accompanying, but it works in this case because, quite frankly, I find Russell Stover chocolate (at least the kind they use to cover their regular cheap eats) to be boring. Consequently, it was great that this bar tasted strongly of peanut butter. The filling was pretty nice and had a super nutty finish. Its texture was quite smooth, without the crumbly grit of the peanut butter you’d find in a Reese’s. I do wish it were a little saltier.

An O, though I liked this one much more than the pumpkins it shares a review page with. I think it would warrant an OM when it’s on sale post-holidays.

January 7, 2008 at 8:00 am 1 comment

Hammond’s Caramel Covered Marshmallow aka Mitchell Sweet

I’d never heard of Hammond’s until I picked up their Caramel Covered Marshmallow (BUY!), which they call Mitchell Sweets, at The Candy Store. I kind of wish I’d spent my money on something else, though to be fair to The Candy Store, I realize now in hindsight that one of the proprietor’s had gently tried to turn me towards a different caramel. But I, of See’s Scotchmallow loving backing, could not be dissuaded from the caramel/marshmallow combination.

The marshmallow turned out to have a terrible texture. It was spongy, it was tough, and it was too chewy in a hard gummy way, not in a nice sticky way. It also tasted of nothing but blandness; no vanilla, no toasted marshmallow tinge.

The caramel was sweet, with a lingering butter flavor. The Mitchell Sweet came wrappe in wax paper, and the caramel was so sticky that it stuck to the wrapper. I wish the caramel were more burnt or had some sort of redeeming flavor qualities, but alas, none were to be found.

I give the Mitchell Sweet an O for it’s terrible texture and blandly sweet taste. Cybele from Candy Blog liked them, though, so to each her own. I much prefer the See’s scotch kiss (#19), with it’s duskier caramel and it’s fluffy marshmallow. The scotch kiss is frighteningly addictive, whereas I’m okay with never eating another Mitchell Sweet again.

January 4, 2008 at 8:00 am 2 comments

Hebert’s Fully Loaded Dark Chocolate Bars

I picked up these the Hebert’s Fully Loaded Dark Chocolate with Margarita Lime Filling and with Apple Cider filling after my chocolate party, thinking, oh, Hebert’s! They were a hit at the chocolate party. I bet these will be tasty. I was quite wrong, and painfully so.

The Dark Margarita Lime bar was quite attractively packaged. A well-designed outer wrapping, with a pretty, striped gold foil around the bar itself, which was also pretty, dark, and glossy. Doesn’t it just look delectable in this photo?

But biting into the bar. Ugh! The dark chocolate was way to sweet and cloying. The texture was creamy but had a poor snap. And it was brittle! When I picked it up from one end, the other snapped right off. The filling had no taste whatsoever; it was just generically sweet, sugary, and syrupy. There was no lime, no orange liqueur, no tequila, and no flavor. If you’re going to call your bar Margarita Lime flavored, it should at least have some citrus notes. All I could taste was too-sweet chocolate and too-sweet filling. An O.

The Dark Apple Cider bar’s filling (which looked identical to that of the Margarita Lime) did taste like something. I wish it didn’t, as its apple cider flavor has earned this bar the distinction of the worst chocolate bar I have ever tasted. There’s a reason why you don’t see apple-flavored chocolates or chocolate-covered apples around much. The taste combination just does not work.

An O, of course. The worst part about this bar was that the flavor lingered in your mouth even when the bar has long been swallowed. And the longer it lingered, the more I hated it. I’d give this a negative score if I could.

I should note that not all of my friends found the Dark Apple Cider as offensive as I did, but no one exactly liked it (if they did, I don’t know if I could be friends with them anymore; my hate for this bar is that intense), so really, don’t waste your money.

December 21, 2007 at 8:00 am Leave a comment

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